Back to Nature 2011

April 23, 2011

Having been forced to contemplate my presence here on earth, because of all the down time due to snow, I have, and will make a sincere effort to get closer to my surroundings where nature is concerned. My first effort in this endeavor was to shoot my first deer in January. Having spent a significant portion of my idle time, freezing my ass off sitting in a tree stand waiting for an animal just a little dumber than I to appear in the cross hairs, I got plenty of time to plot my coarse back to nature. The deer that took one for the cause really was not too smart. It ran down a hill to my right and stared at me for about thirty seconds before foraging about looking for the food that I gladly provided. You would think that seeing a grown man sitting fifteen feet off the ground wearing an orange hat with a shotgun pointed at you would give you a sense that something was amiss. Well that was not the case and so ended that deer’s attachment to nature. (If you ever attempt this don’t shoot one that is too big, for it is a lot easier to drag the animal out of the woods if it is small.)

My second effort to get back to nature was also very rewarding. Thirty guys in full camo and bright orange vests walking through a field with three dogs and plenty of ammo looking for birds about the size of a cornish hen. Although I have heard of nature freaks (bird watchers) telling stories about how relaxing it is to walk quietly through the woods looking for different species of birds, I have concluded that it could not even come close to the loud noise of gunfire, while shooting birds flushed by dogs at the same time enjoying the fresh smell of gun powder in the air.


There is a lot about nature that I didn’t know I was missing. Just as a side note and keeping on topic, nature that is, I so look forward to spring and Earth Day. I was just giddy, after this past winter, to see all the people celebrating Earth Day in the park down the street from my house. I was quick to put the finishing touches on this meaningful day by, you guessed it, putting ALL the lawn chemicals down for this season, like LIME, FERTILIZER, WEED BE GONE, ROUND-UP, SEVIN and any other spray that came from a can with a skull and crossbones. I love a green lawn.

My final attempt to get back to nature this year will be to sample all that Mother Nature has to offer in our rivers and oceans. I will attempt to prove to Dr. Jane Lubchenko (head of NOAA) that there is not a shortage of fish in our oceans and rivers. Hookemandhackem will be the order of the day whenever I am fishing because as I understand it, “WE” are the head of the food chain and I intend to keep it that way.